Ms.Tracy in Micronesia: A testing and trying Thanksgiving...

Kaselel,

Well, if you're worried why I haven't posted in forever or talked to many of you, I apologize... It's definitely been quite a test of my emotional stability this past month. The good news is that I'm safe and content in a new apartment and continuing teaching at PICS. The bad news is that we not only got robbed once, twice, but THREE times within the past couple weeks. The most traumatic being the night that we returned to find our old apartment and personal items strewn about and the window pried wide open, and also waking up to see a black figure climbing out my bedroom window. Whoever is doing this has taken everything worth of any value from me, including my laptop, camera, iPhone, local phone, tablet, etc. It's more than just my personal electronics, it's a violation of my privacy and emotional safety. To be honest, the past month has been one of the most trying times in my entire life, and I've shed a lot of tears and done a lot of deep thinking in how I can feel safe and whole again. To think of some stranger going through my personal items, pictures, clothes, everything... it makes me shudder at the core.

I've tried not to let this alter my perception of this country and it's people overall. It's been hard, but I think I've come to a place that I have accepted that there are bad people anywhere you go. Throughout this experience, I've had many people, locals and friends, reach out a helping hand to get me through this. Yes, there is evil in the world... but you can't let that blind you from seeing the beauty in the innocent eyes of a local child, or the kindness in my students voice when they ask how I am, or the sincere apology of a complete stranger when they hear what someone has done to me. The people on this island aren't to blame- it's the few individuals that chose to make a bad decision. Yes, I do hope that bad karma comes their way and they will pay for their actions, but I am not the one that has to deal with that. That's on their own conscience and their own soul.

This whole thing has provided me with the silence and clarity (due to no laptop, phone, or any type of electronic device) to really think about things and ask myself some pretty deep questions. I never thought I would say that I could survive without a phone! But it's been okay. I have my friends and support here on Pohnpei, especially the other WorldTeach volunteers. We celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with good food, including my Red Lobster biscuits (thank you Grandma!). I was really able to think about what I'm thankful for in my life... which basically comes down to those special people in my life. There are so many distractions in our lives, and things can get so busy and stressful, but at the end of the day what you really have to be thankful for is the love you experience from those around you. The people in your life are what makes it worth living. Not your possessions, money, or luxuries... just the simple fact that there are people in this world that have made a difference in your life. So this goes out to all of you guys... my family, who have been more supportive than I could ask for, my friends, both college and hometown... we may not stay in touch this year as much as I want but you are constantly in my thoughts, and I can't wait to come back and catch up soon... and those few individuals who have been my rock and stronghold when I've come apart. You are the people that keep my holding on. And I cannot thank you enough- from the bottom of my heart.

On a brighter note, I'm starting a lot of new projects here on Pohnpei! I am officially the new head of the Children's story hour at the library, so all the little pwutak and serepein (boys and girls) better be expecting some fun songs and silly dances! Besides that, Aaron and I have also started a Debate Club at PICS high school. During our first meeting, I was able to meet our new debaters which range from freshman to seniors and I can tell it is going to be a fun year. Despite the fact that I know very little about debate, I'll do my best to help!

My most exciting new project is starting the Girls on Track club at school. This is an organization that I have also been involved with back in the states, and the motto and beliefs of this program I support wholeheartedly. It's a club that is dedicated to teaching girls how to live a healthy lifestyle, and to build their self-confidence and help them set out goals for their future. So far we've only had two meetings, but we've had over thirty girls in attendance! It's going to be interesting for me, planning the lessons with the Pohnpeian culture in mind, but we've already gotten to talk about some really important issues such as "Do you feel beautiful about yourself?" and "Why is it important to live a healthy lifestyle?". We've done some yoga (which proved to be more of a laughing fit than relaxation, but it was fun!) and jogging around the track field. I'm so glad to get to know some of these girls outside the classroom, where they can see me as more of an older sister than their teacher. I have big dreams for this club, and I will keep you updated on our progress throughout the year!

As for my own athletic activities- I've started going to a zumba dance class that is held right next door to our new apartment. Each night from 7-8pm, around 40 local women of all ages come together and we do our zumba dance to a mix of local music, Pitbull remixes, and the Macarena. I've realized that I'm not the most graceful or sexy dancer, but it's the fun that counts! I'm glad noone else can see me haha... you would get quite the laugh! But it's my time of the day to unwind and relax and just be in a group of women that are focused on physical health.

Well, I apologize that this isn't the most upbeat or positive post... but life isn't always easy, is it? I've had a lot of time to think and to focus on what is keeping me here. Although some days are hard to go in and teach and keep a smile on my face, my students are progressing a lot. At the beginning of the year, they could barely add and subtract basic integers in their heads... and now they are solving systems of equations using graphing, substitution, and combination methods! (that was for you math nerds out there) We have one more week of review and then it's finals and Christmas break. Wow- that first semester really flew by! I don't really have many plans for my Christmas vacation, but I know that the other WT volunteers and I are hoping to visit more of the island, and possibly go back to Black Coral island for a little paradise getaway.

December just isn't the same without snow! It truly is hard for me to believe that it really is winter right now. One of the biggest things that brings me back to reality is watching the Packers play on my roommate's laptop and seeing all the snowy and freezing yet damn proud and excited fans in Lambeau. Damn, do I miss Wisconsin!

---I'll be back sooner than you know---